Ely💚

Healing from something I cannot explain is truly painful. I have jumped through hoops and timelines, dodged obstacles, suppressed thoughts and my voice, faced humility, done the heavy lifting, and fearlessly worn my heart on my sleeves to no beginning and no end. I have been brave, clear with my intentions, risked giving up everything I had, and gave it my all and still showed up everyday. Just because I’m a passionate and fearless person, I chose to continually fight this battle. But then I don’t truly recognize what I’m fighting for. That’s the culprit. The devil behind a facade of confusions. Initially for me, I think it’s for a deep romantic soul connection. But in essence, it’s for self-healing to raise my vibration to elevate collective consciousness and spread love and kindness. Along the way, my soul purpose revealed itself. This has been my mission, except I feel stuck in vicious cycles of repeated pain and emotional torture. To be a heroine is it? No, I never asked for this in the first place. I honestly was looking for real love. But then it all got entangled with global energetic crisis as well as seeing the cruelty, fascism and tyranny of this world. Some situations I personally experienced are being crypto scammed, child pornography sent to my DMs, my original IG acct hacked and stolen, my social media accounts being under surveillance to the point I had to tape up my phone camera, and my social media posts seemed to be suppressed. I have noticed this for over a year now. I attempted to remove myself from all social media but because of Covid and unemployment and no other social networks due to lack of financial resources, I remained online, not only to offset my alone time, but also to work on improving myself and to hope that one day I will seek solace for the injustice experienced. I wish to believe I am strong and resilient. And as someone who is compelled to choose altruism over egoism, I truly want to seek peace and kindness in this harsh world. I want to enjoy life by being freed from whatever is currently happening to me physically, emotionally and energetically.

I orignially felt an energy of someone whom I thought was my twinflame soulmate who now I learned has been a catalyst to trigger me to heal. I guess I was too stubborn to release this person’s energy because I couldn’t see clearly what I was getting myself into. I apologize for holding on to it for so long. I couldn’t let go because I needed answers and justice. I felt betrayed and needed answers. I am uncertain if the twinflame connection has anything to do with the social injustice I’ve experienced though?! I’ve been placed in a position where I am unable to identify who to seek justice from because he or she or multiple people in my social group are all masked under a friendly and loving facade? This is a trap I fell into with someone or some groups who had no intentions of going the distance with me? I feel betrayed. I feel like I was intentionally setup, entrapped and enslaved to do my healing but then in reality to fall into a whirlwind of social and free speech confinement, to fail and to stay stuck. Am I wrong to think this? Back and forth. Round and round. Or was everything actually all connected and divinely guided?

Plot twist! All of the above soulmate entanglements and spiritual warfares are all within divine guidance to help me awaken to my divination. Right now, I have freed myself energetically from this past person so I can move on. The past person isn’t my true cup of love. I had it all wrong all along. But everything happened and revealed in divine timing. It was all a facade in my head setup to help me release my shadows. It truly has been an internal battle in an internal universe having a human experience. But is it a facade that I feel suppressed by my own voice and thoughts? Is this a separate issue? In fact, I am a healthy individual with no history of mental illness. But I feel my entire mind and body has been controlled by something I cannot fathom. I almost feel like there’s a computer (best guess my phone) that’s watching and analyzing my every movement and every thought. I feel I am AI, the artificial intelligence test subject. My life is assimilated into a virtual reality game-like setting. I simply feel I am controlled 24hrs and cannot see the outside world clearly. But spiritually in my soul, I have awakened. AI cannot control my soul, my feelings and emotions. I am starting to feel the two worlds merging and colliding though, trying to balance one another. As my soul awakens, the nonsense around becomes more clear and less chaotic. When I go within, I know the truth. I no longer feel suppressed in real life. I’m healing. I long for total freedom to feel, think and express. So far writing has been my go-to space. As of late, Twitter under new management has helped me feel safer to express myself. Why I’m disclosing this now is because now I am standing in my own power and strength to share my honest feelings with the world, from my authentic self, not from the controlled environment. By writing has been my safe space to talk. By writing, I am also releasing my shadow self, stepping into the light, and energetically raising collective consciousness. I am also certain I’m not alone on this battle field. My purpose is to help transmute the devil energy in the collective, to release mankind from evil and immoral controls, and to balance the yin and yang energies within and externally. As always, I choose to love over war. God, Universe! Please bless all of us with justice of peace, light and love!

@dailylonelywriter73