Just Let Me Be My Real Self (New Moon in Aries 2022-04-01)


Like everyone else, I so much want to manifest success into my life. But no one knows how it feels to be me right now. I have been pulled in different directions to believe I’m on a twinflame journey and to focus on healing and self-love. Why I don’t dare to show my feelings is because this journey has only been via social media. It is extremely affected by algorithms and not triggered by real life scenarios. I apparently have a few high level romantic soulmates but have not met anyone in real life. I have no clue who is who and have always been very confused in every way possible. There has not been any person I have met on social media who has been a “true” connection. The real people I know do not respond to me at all. There has not been any authentic interactions and the struggle to not be able to speak my truth has been absolutely torturous. I understand this as the Divine is withholding the truth from me in order to allow me time and opportunities to heal. Thus I believe in divine truth and divine timing. The fact that I’ve come so far in this journey still surprises me.

Relating to the twinflame journey via social media, why is it that divine masculines (DMs) can show their love bombs, their love poetry, their fears, etc. without consequences, but divine feminines (DFs) can’t. As soon as DFs do, we are chasing or we are triggering the DMs??? Doesn’t make sense to me to be so one-sided. My guess is that these soulmates are affluent personels. I have released the need to find out who or when or if this twinflame journey is even trustworthy. I have tried to only focus on learning, healing and improving myself. I was silly to give up my 9-5 job to be lured into all this algorithmic patterns have gottened suckered into losing all my savings. All this happened on various social media platforms. I need to free myself and to resolve living in lack. My immediate reaction now is to manifest a windfall of money as I don’t have the resources to stay unemployed so I can work on starting a new business or building a new career. It’s also very sad for me to think I should just go back to working 9 to 5. Logically, I can’t think this way anymore because my kids and I will end up living on the streets very soon. But my soul is calling me to continue this journey. I have made plans to move out next week from my ex and kids so I can start the divorce process. Due to financial constraints, I have not been able to move out on my own. But now that the timing is right as I am healed and the stars are aligning favorably, my sister has agreed to let me temporarily live with her and her family. This is because I feel I have to release myself from my ex in order to shift my destiny. This is another move I’m making to heal my twinflame journey. I just cannot believe I chose to endure so much pain and heartache, been in hermit mode for past 10 years and been deemed crazy by most people. Do I really have a mental illness? No, I don’t. I believe my brain and heart are still pure and sane. What I have is faith and hope because I feel the results energetically. Although being too dreamy and irresponsible has led me to this point of lack. I’ve further decided that this may be karmic debt I have been paying for and the return is to be spiritually healed and to heal my DM. This is where I’m at. I have not tried to go back to any relationships nor tried to pursue anyone. I don’t dare to cause anyone else unnecessary pain. But paying karmic debt does not mean I cannot praise or love another soul! Unconditional love can be for any type of souls in my opinion. I learned this new moon in Aries signifies good divine timing to safely speak my truth without worrying so much about harming my DM.

At the end of the day, I’m just an ordinary girl who believes in true-love and fairy tales. Yes the magic is I have healed myself and has earned the right to manifest a high level soulmate. This is the magic I have been divinely guided through synchronizicties and dreams, and have awakened my clairvoyance, clairaudient, and intuition. I have withheld this from everyone in my life and is finally able to release this into the world. I am confident my dreams will manifest into reality very soon.

Despite my own battles, I tried to help as many people as I can in ways possible. And that is to follow as many people as I can on social media because that is where all my pain came from. Silly me, I’m probably the only person who barely has many followers on all my accounts. Because I kind of figured out the social media algorithms, I deliberately choose to only attract those who I can touch and help and those who have the heart and ability to assist with my mission of philanthropy. I made many mistakes along the way and attract negativity unintentionally, yet that’s how I learned the algorithms. Attracting only positivity and not speaking negative thoughts has everything to do with aligning with my twinflame journey, my karmic debt, my personal healing, and healing of others. It has nothing to do with me not wanting to speak my truth nor deliberately ignoring opposing thoughts.

Along this journey, I did acquire an immense amount of knowledge from all walks of life. Most importantly, I have learned to do energy healing. In fact, I have mentally created my own version of quantum energy healing and will develop that more later on when I have the financial resources to put it together as a course or into a practice. I’ve learned so much along the way. I mostly feel grateful for all the outpouring of love from the Divine and my soul families, friends and coworkers.

All this is very matrix-metaverse artificial intelligence driven behavior for me. And yes, as real as I tried to be, I feel this world I’m currently living is surreal. But since I still have faith in my Divine Source, our God or our Universe, I am now focusing on enjoying every moment of this “magical” life and embracing the experience one day at a time. Yes, I am opened to finding true love because I now understand my journey as a divine feminine and I know my worth. I realized have been blessed with spiritual gifts and cannot wait to discover more of what lies ahead of me in the future. My understanding is to not expect but to trust. So if or when I’m gifted a soulmate by the Divine, that’s when I’m ready to wholeheartedly give love another chance. But until then, the love I give is for the collective. All for one and one for all.

Writing this is hard for me as the Universe only want positive thinking. Speaking the truth means defying the law of attraction and may affect my karmic partners. I’m always feeling the 5 and 7 of swords conflicts resulting in a 9 or 10 of swords and wands and towers wherever I think or speak my truth. Today it’s 888. Eight swords, wands and cups. I’m walking away to find love. Six or higher pentacles would be lovely! I still have nightmares keep seeing 4 of pentacles hahaha!

So here and now. I shall finish off with some positive affirmations to balance out the univeral law of attraction of yin/yang energies 😂:

Be love
Be kind
Be you
Show compassion
Show empathy
Be real
To give love is as important as to receive love
An always grateful heart deserves abundance.
A forgiving heart results in healing and transformation.
Finding true happiness requires a lot of patience.
I release all karmic relationships with my resilience, kindness, happiness and positive mindset.
I attract true-love, abundance and good health into my life.

Love, Like, Love ❤️

ELY 🖤💫💫


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